Fashion Bin: The Sleeveless Jacket

There are some things I don't see the point of like Top Gear, goji berries and Cheryl Cole. They don't inspire me or make me laugh, and a superfood, rich in vitamins and antioxidants that tastes like bits of old carpet has just got to be wrong. When it comes to pointless fashion, the sleeveless jacket is hard to beat. Layering is a wonderful thing but I'm talking luxury fine knits not blazers-without-sleeves. That's Not My Age has never seen a stylish person in a sleeveless jacket, ever. And that's because they are try-hard and fussy and not at all easy-to-wear. I want fashion to simplify my life not constrict my armpits on a hot summer's day. Whether it's vintage Gaultier, the latest Stella McCartney or good old M&S, the sleeveless jacket has no place in a grown-up woman's wardrobe. But fortunately, there's plenty of room for it in the fashion bin....




Would you wear one?

Photo: style.com

Blue and Brown

Typically the colours of military uniforms and boilersuits, of bad seventies tailoring and nylon socks. Written off by Joe Strummer as what you wear when you've sold out, the combination of blue and brown has never been seen as a perfect partnership. Until now, that is. The two hues are as hot as Colin and Livia Firth this spring and That's Not My Age loves the pairing. Especially the rust-coloured blouse and cornflower pants at Diane von Furstenburg and the more relaxed reefer jacket and camel skinny jeans at Comptoir des Cotonniers, but most of all I love the pair of Sylvac bunnies that live on the windowsill in our spare room and keep me company when I'm sitting at my desk...




Cezanne wrote that, 'Blue gives other colours their vibration,' and he had a point.





Do you have a favourite colour combination?



DVF photo: style.com

Your purse is on fire!

Haven't done one of these posts for a while, so let me explain. This is where I imagine I have the money to hang out in Klosters with George Osborne and still have some change - actually I'd rather eat my own vomit than go skiing with Tory Boy but you get the picture. And so, to this week's most-wanted. A pair of lovely woven leather shoes from Camper. The shape, a 1930s-style silhouette (can't wait to see The King's Speech) and the neutral tone feel quite timely. And as I live my life in a blur of khaki, camel and grey, this little lace-up will blend in seamlessly. Finally, it's a bit of a Mum Shoe - and whilst other women totter around in high-rise platforms and wedges, That's Not My Age is happiest in the footwear of a grown-up lady.

Switch the pointy stiletto for the Camper Mum Shoe and this is the kind of look I'm thinking of, for spring:




What will you be wearing this spring?



PS the Camper shoe is available in February and the other picture is from Comptoir des Cotoniers.

The Great Winter Fashion Conundrum

OK, now here's the thing; glamorous party tonight and it's colder than a penguin's backside outdoors, so what to wear to get from bedroom to bar without taking a cab or suffering from hypothermia? The big winter coat is a no-brainer, but what about the rest? I'll be reporting back tomorrow, but in the meantime here's the That's Not My Age guide to smart winter style:


1. Dress up a pair of woolly tights
Knitted hosiery may not be the most glamorous accessory known to womankind but teamed with a fabulous dress - this one is Roksanda Ilincic for Whistles - and some show-stopping shoes, no-one will notice - or care. Remember, it's going to be minus three later this evening!



2. If in doubt get the sequins out
That's Not My Age's sequin jacket has only has one outing this year, and worn with slim black pants and a thermal vest, makes the perfect alternative to the party dress. Don't forget, those shiny, plastic discs provide excellent insulation.



3. Choose sensible footwear
Now there's no way I am skidding down that icy hill in a pair of heels. Tonight, That's Not My Age will be wearing sensible footwear and carrying the grown-up's favourite party accessory; a canvas tote and spare pair of shoes. And though Jane Birkin wears Uggs - yes I'm disappointed too, because frankly I'd rather go out in my bed socks and slippers than slop around like the sheepskin-clad, back end of a pantomime horse - there are better options. The wedge-heeled welly from Hunter, for one. Looks trés chic and is available in both ankle and knee length. Wellies are good for keeping feet dry but not so great at keeping the warmth in, so best wear them with a pair of great big socks.




Or try these lovely wool-lined, lace-up boots from Ilse Jacobsen:



4. Get to the do, then unleash the party shoe
Follow the advice above and arrive at the party with all your toes intact. When it's warm and dry the shoe switch-over can be done sitting on a wall around the corner from the venue but, during the big freeze when it's ankle deep in snow, best to nip inside, sit down and quickly change the footwear.



Now how about these Let's Dance shoes from Beatrix Ong - aren't they fantastic? Not my favourite David Bowie era, ever, but nice idea, eh? Oh and just so you know, a new Beatrix Ong store has recently opened on Pavilion Road, London.



Do you have any tips for staying warm and looking cool?


Photos
Purple beret etc: Gant, Sequin jacket, Moschino from Net-a-Porter, Ilse Jacobsen boots from The Natural Shoe Store.

You've got to roll with it

'No one ever got laid in a roll neck,' said The Observer's fashion pages yesterday, well excuse me... I thought we'd decided knicker-flashing porno chic was dead? Who needs to get their cleavage out to get lucky? Actually, don't answer that, we'll be here all night. Let's focus instead on the classy qualities of the simple roll neck. OK it may not be the sexiest sweater in the drawer but, in cashmere it's a sensual proposition, a chic wardrobe staple and the best way to hide a saggy neck, just ask Diane Keaton.

Think about Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face, Yves Saint Laurent's Beat Collection, which upset the couture clients and saw him sacked from Dior, and the other first lady...



Marilyn Monroe looked just as sexy in a sweater and Capri pants, as a show-stopping, knicker-flashing frock:



Chloe and Céline showed roll necks for autumn/winter 2010 - blimey even Victoria Beckham's in on the act (seen below in Céline)- and W editor, Stefano Tonchi certainly knows a thing or two about style.





Yep, the roll neck works or men too. I give you the fabulous Steve McQueen, and Mr Michael Caine:





So, what do you think - is the roll neck 'contraception in fashion form,' or a super-chic cover-up?

Leather, or not?

Now that animal print has become a wardrobe staple, leather is the newest way to give an outfit a subtle edge. At a conference last week, That's Not My Age noticed an outbreak of forty-something women wearing leather trousers and skirts. Call it a micro trend, call it a midlife crisis, call it a momentary lapse in taste. Leather daywear has landed.

Although I'm a vegetarian, I don't go all Stella McCartney when it comes to animal skin. I wear leather footwear and own one leather jacket (an old M&S skinny seventies zip up style), but that's as far as it goes. Now, I'm more than happy to sprinkle a little rock chicery on my fashion plate but ever since my brother came back from a holiday in Barcelona, in his early twenties, wearing a black leather waistcoat - I've been convinced that in a world of leather, the jacket is king. Now, I could be wrong. There's no denying Elle Macpherson looks fabulous in her Isabel Marant Capri pants but let's be honest, she'd look fabulous in a bri-nylon housecoat. To me, leather trousers on anyone above and beyond a certain age scream, 'Look at me - I've still got it!'

I'm a firm believer in wearing what you like, when you like and I do like the leather M&S skirt (above) and the sell-out Isabel Marant pant. But I can't help thinking that there are certain people - Patti Smith, Keith Richards, Carine Roitfeld - who can get away with leather pants and then there are the rest of us. Who really wants to look like a peri-menopausal Good Housekeeping reader having a racy moment? Not me.

Am I getting into a bit of a lather over leather? Would you wear it on a daily basis? People, let me hear your thoughts.


Isabel Marant catwalk photo: style.com

The grown-up guide to: parties

Within the space of a week, That's Not My Age has been to both a 50th and a 40th birthday party and so let me tell you what I know about grown-up-dressing-up:


1. Wear something you always feel right in
Having a fail-safe item of clothing to turn to is more comforting than knowing you've got a lift home and a lie-in. That's Not My Age prefers low-key, casual glamour to getting dressed up to the nines, as architect, John Pawson says, 'The state of minimum is not one of austerity nor deprivation, it is clarity of space.' Hence, I opted for simplicity, and an Isabel Marant-inspired ensemble, the trousers are old cropped Capri pants from Gap. And yes, I wore this outfit to both parties, if you must know.

2. Allow yourself plenty of time to get ready.
Throwing something on and immediately looking fabulous is inversely proportionate to age. Easy enough when you're a dewy-skinned teenager, less likely when you're closer to retirement than graduation. A last-minute rush is not the best way to start the evening and can lead to sartorial mishaps. Pushed for time, me and Mr That's Not My Age had to stop off for a bag of chips en route to the 50th party, whilst enjoying our grown-up supper the Blog Widower asked if my nail varnish was supposed to have fluffy bits on it.

3. Plan ahead
The sophisticated up-do I had planned to compliment my wannabe French outfit looked more like a powdered wig than an elegant chignon. I can't remember it being such a faff 20 years ago when I last tried it, but I had more patience then and a lot less grey hair. To avoid a last-minute tonsorial crisis and a painful comb-out, either practise the hairstyle before the big night out, leave it to a professional or end up with a fuck-up-do, like me.


And one to avoid:

Staying till the end
One thing you realise after 30 years of partying is that whilst it is considered acceptable to arrive fashionably late, it's never acceptable to stay too late. Make sure you're tucked up in bed when your contemporaries are dancing to The Final Countdown, devouring what's left of the buffet or waiting in vain for the next taxi home.



Inspired by model/designer/rock aristo, Suzie Bick, who I spotted at an after-show party looking frabjous (new favourite word, people) in double velvet and sequins, here are some of my favourite party pieces:











What are your party tips?

Photos
Isabel Marant catwalk: style.com. Vivienne Westwood Red Label jacket, Matches. Sequin jacket, Lurex sweatshirt and trousers, Jaeger. Kitten heels, LK Bennett